I want to start writing to track changes. It is easy to forget details, or to have one day blend into the other. I want to keep track to be able to help myself.
The first day, when i met M. I was wondering how I would be able to help her, or the teacher. i gelt so useless! I was very patient, and tried my best. I spoke with the teacher after class. She asked me how I felt about this new assignment. I told her, it was quite unexpected; I was not told what I would be doing when I took it. I want to continue, yes, but I felt useless. I felt like I wasn't really helping anyone. She told me that I did fine, and not to worry, I did help.
After tht, i realized that each day is different, I never know what to expect. Some days are smooth, while others are trying. I keep going and I am not so hard on myself now. I can see that it is not me, I can work with what I have, and do my best. M. can't help the way she feels at times, and I feel it for her. I have researched Autism online and spoken with good friends who have Autistic children. I have come to the conclusion that all we can do is work day to day with it. I said I felt it for M., because I can see that many people who have Autism can get frustrated because they cannot express themselves like they would want to.
I have always known that each person is different and each case is different, but I had no idea how much they can differ. What works for one child may not work for the next. So all I can do is dance. I can follow the way things are that particular day. I try my best to entice M. to do her school work. I offer her tokens, as I was told they were being used and they worked well. Some days she is interested, others she isn't, but we still work with them. I need to re direct many times, and point out what she needs to do. Many times she seems to be in another world. But I noticed that sometimes, she just needs a little time. I can ask her to do something, and wait, ask her again, and wait. Sometimes she will suddenly just come around and do what I had asked. Other times it takes more insisting.
The teacher has asked me as time goes by, how things are going. I told her one day after school. "I have a B.S. in Psychology, but nothing prepared me for this". She said she understood completely, she also took some courses on Autism and Aspergers, and still, she feels that she is constantly surprised.
There is no way to understand, no way to break through. All we can do is continue to do our best to help M. At the moment, I want to find a way to get her to be interested in her school work. I feel that she gets easily bored of it. At first glance, she makes it look like the work is too hard and she can't get around to start the first sentence in her worksheet. But if you wait, she may just finish it in the blink of an eye, with no help.
She is easily distracted from within herself. Mostly, not from things around her, but with things like the strings she pulls out of her socks. She ties them to a paper clip, or the tiny mechanical pencil she got last week at school. She seems so interested in the strings. I do not know how to take the attention she puts into that, and transfer it into learning from her school work.
