I shared the information I found yesterday with the teacher. I sent her the link to the page.
I do not know really if this applies to M. But even if it doesn't, learning how to deal with this behavior can be so helpful.
We had a good day today, M. did her school work well. When she got to school she was pensive. Her mood was out of the ordinary; just quiet, almost sad, but not quite. When the thought of "sad?" crossed my mind, she smiled. I think she knew I was searching for clues.
When we worked on the white boards, she did great! she still glanced at the multiplication chart, but not a lot. She even wrote her own problems on one side. As usual, I tell her do the problems, I take a pic, and then she can have a chip. (token). Then I ask if she wants to erase the board, or shall I do it? She responds better if I give her choices. I noticed in that info about PDA. It says they like to be in charge. I see that she wants to be the one to make the choices. So I tested that approach and it worked (today). I notice that about things, and when I write math problems for her. One day I was putting a check mark when she finished one, and then go to the next problem. She took the marker and insisted to give herself a check mark. Not me, she had to do it. She does the same with other work, she gives herself a star.
Today, when she went on her Chrome book, she was on Math fluency. She was doing fine, but the addition was getting increasingly more difficult than last times. She made a mistake and got frustrated. I was able to calm her, and she continued. After she got a few wrong, she was mad. She did great: SHE HIT THE BREAK BUTTON when she started losing her cool. She actually stopped herself, calmed down and hit the break button. I thanked her for doing the right thing. I told her how I appreciated that she hit the button and calmed down, instead of getting mad. She sat quietly and cried softly. I talked to her softly and told her that it is OK to make mistakes. All we can do is learn and try again. I told her that she did right in asking for a break. We can continue in a few minutes and try again. When a few minutes were over, I asked her if she was OK, and we could now try again. She said "no", and got upset, but she didn't scream this time. I said "OK, we can do fluency in another way". So I asked the teacher for a worksheet. M. did her math on paper. I showed her how to pair 2 numbers and add the third. I showed her once! I didn't do it for her, (that makes her mad). I just showed her.. "These two numbers, you can add them, then add the top number". (We have done this before). She worked on it with no trouble at all, and finished it up.
After that, she was able to follow what the teacher was working on, on the board. She wrote it all down as I explained what the numbers were doing. I know she listened, even though it may take her a while to absorb it. I know.. Been there, done that. it all becomes a "grab now, think later", when you are frustrated or tired..
During recess, she did what she usually does, sit and sometimes play on the playground. Walking back to the classroom, she still tries to hold my hand, but only for a few seconds. It has to be her choice.. so I let it be this way. It is good. :)
After recess, we had to go to speech. I had no idea why she would get so mad in there. More often than not, she gets mad and starts throwing herself on me or the chair. The teacher gets frustrated and one time we actually had to almost carry her to go back to the classroom. The teacher actually had all the students leave and he turned off the lights. She still wouldn't straighten up. I managed to get her up and back to the classroom.
When we started, he used to tell me I can go, and come back for her later. I said I don't have anywhere to go, I stay. But I saw how she had issues. It has been difficult.
Today was no exception, but I think I know what is going on now. I talked to the teacher before, we thought of the humming of the neon lighting, or the sounds, or too bright. Nope.. Today I realized that the teacher raises his voice trying to get her attention. It's worse than trying to yell at a deaf person. While she was laid on the chair screaming, he kept speaking loudly.. "Do you want to go back to the classroom M? ...." Then he asked me as I was trying to calm her down. "have you tried any negative reinforcement with her?" I was so confused about that.. my head said "how can you even think of that?" But I didn't say it. I asked how. he said like telling her I will tell her teacher on her or something... threatening her with punishment maybe. (something like that, not in those exact words ). I said "no, why should I?". he backed off and went to sit back in his chair. I was able to get Maya to calm down enough to listen to my voice. She was starting to sit up, then the teacher raised his voice for some reason. My mind just went wrong... I was thinking.. "She's not stupid or hard of hearing, she can hear just fine!". I looked at him and motioned for him to lower his voice. i think I was rude, but she was starting to go back down again. He said "what is it?" I said "too loud". he caught on and lowered his voice. She started to participate, still a little bothered, but was starting to work with me. I sad next to her and tried to help her do wheat the other children were doing. ms. Alejandra came in, and something happened. M. Kicked me off, and started getting upset. I think the noise level had gone up again. Ms. Alejandra took over and M. Calmed down and started going back to the activity.
I spoke M's teacher about this. The speech therapy teacher makes me uncomfortable. Nothing he has done, nothing against him. He just has a loud personality, so I block it, it is too much. I am wondering if M. senses that. I told the teacher all this. I was a little concerned that she would think I am nuts. But I told her how I felt, literally. I told her next time I will unblock him, to see what is really there. I have tried not to look, I don't need more energy clutter. I will have to ground myself , and shield before I go to work in the morning on Thursday. Something is off with him, as far as I can see, he is just really stressed. We can maybe feel the tension, stress and frustration.
I am so excited about my new products.. :) I have been wondering if it would help children like M. calm down. I know I have my oil, and when I get totally stressed or scared, I will take it out and just smell it. Just a whiff of it helps. The mind is a powerful thing. I programmed mine to calm down with my oil that I carry. Anyone can do that, and possibly to just about any scent. But, I will follow the recipes, because those tend to work better for the appropriate purpose.
I want to find out what M. likes. I have no idea if she likes to touch soft things like plush, or slimy things in a cup, Play-do, I have no idea. Would be nice to find something that she can touch for just a moment, after she does her work, before starting the next portion. The again, it is possible that as she progresses in school. they might want her to stop using "crutches" so much. I personally do not see the problem. People seem obsessed with growing up. Only lately has it been accepted that adults have coloring books to reduce stress. I have a collection of stuffies at home. I sometimes like to hold one while watching TV because it makes me feel comfortable. I especially like them when I am sick or feel sad. I have a little leopard on my key-chain that was for when I fidget. I get fidgety waiting in line or things like that, especially when anxious. So I rub the leopard, and it keeps me grounded so to speak. It isn't something we advertise to people, we keep it quiet. I know some people hold their keys, others chew pens, or twirl their rings. Many people do this. If they were allowed to have a comfort thing, it would probably save a lot of pens.. LOL
Anyway, a little oil in your pocket could help reduce stress and anxiety, that is all I was trying to say. It is socially acceptable, and discreet. :P
Oopsie.. I strayed from the original conversation... again
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